Every now and then we are treated to examples of small penis humilaition in moves and on TV programs. It’s a rare treat but we enjoy it just the same. This list is not definitive as some have been mentioned to us but we cannot find any online references to the scenes described. We will keep looking and add to the list as we find new movies and TV programs that give a little small dick humiliation.
Bowfinger (1999) – A scene where the character played by Eddie Murphy flashes a group of women and they all laugh at his small penis.
Filth (2013) – Has several SPH scenes concerning one of the detectives Ray Lennox who has a small penis. In one scene he is having a threesome with a fellow cop (Bruce Robertson) and is forcefully fucking the woman doggy style and she calls out “I can’t even feel you, babycock.” In another scene, Bruce decides to spoil Lennox’ attempt at chatting up an office hotty at a party, and talks everyone into playing a kinky game. All the cops photocopy their dicks and the women have to pick which one belongs to each cop.
10 Things I Hate About You Bianca played by Larisa Oleynik mentions how she blackmailed an under-endowed ex.
Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this?
Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is!
America’s Sweethearts The character Gwen played by Catherine Zeta-Jones explains how a good looking guy she dated had a really small dick.
Gwen: [caught on Hal’s hidden camera]
Gwen: I tell you, he’s hot. Handsome. He can go for hours. I just wish he had a bigger, you know… thingy. It’s like a roll of quarters.
[holds out her lipstick]
Gwen: It’s like this.
[twists lipstick down]
Gwen: Well… maybe like this.
Bedazzled. Elliot Richards (played by Brendan Fraser) has several wishes granted by the Devil (played by Liz Hurly) which all end up going wrong in one way or another. In one wish he becomes this huge albino looking basketball player that does amazing things on the basketball court and is a huge sports star. Later he is interviewed in the locker room by a sexy reporter wearing only a towel. Then he shows her his penis to discover it is very small and he gets very upset about it.
Black Dynamite – Black Dynamite is the greatest African-American action star of the 1970s. When his only brother is killed by The Man it’s up to him to find justice.
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Anaconda Malt Liquor!
Black Dynamite: And what is the slogan for Anaconda Malt Liquor? Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you…
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: WHOOOOO!
Black Dynamite: Gives you what?
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: WHOOOOO!
Black Dynamite: And who else is famous for…
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: WHOOOOO! Little Richard!
Black Dynamite: Who?
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Little Richard!
Black Dynamite: So, what they’re really saying is…
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you… Little Richard?
Black Dynamite: What is another word for Richard?
[Black Dynamite crosses out ‘Richard’ on the blackboard. The gang look down on their pants]
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Gunsmoke!
[the gang run out of the diner towards Gunsmoke’s apartment and smash through the door to find him passed out drunk and his little dick poking out.]
Black Dynamite: Anaconda malt Liquor gives you a little dick!
Anger Management – A bully pulls down Dave’s pants in the street just as he is going to have his first kiss with a girl and everyone laughs at his small penis.
Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star A kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents footsteps — and become a porn star. The only problem is Bucky has a very small penis and suffers badly from premature ejaculation. Highly underrated this movie.
The Dictator. The dictator character’s small dick is mocked by a girl who is promptly hushed (which means executed).
Foxy Brown. A blaxploitation movie of the 70’s where a voluptuous black woman takes a job as a high-class prostitute in order to get revenge on the mobsters who murdered her boyfriend. Has a lot of Foxy telling men they have a small dick which reflects her femdom attitude.
Foxy Brown: You pink-ass corrupt honky judge, take your little wet noodle outta here and if you see a man anywhere send him in because I do need a MAN!
I Love You Man. A woman casually mentions her (minor character) asshole husband’s tiny penis to friends.
Litenpenis A Norwegian short film. The story of Daniel, a man who all of his life has felt insecure because of his penis size. This changes when he joins a support group a little bit out of the ordinary.
Love & Sex Kate Welles (played by Famke Janssen) asks a guy if his penis is smaller than average while they’re having sex.
Mac Gruber. Ex-special operative MacGruber is called back into action to take down his arch-enemy, Dieter Von Cunth, who’s in possession of a nuclear warhead and bent on destroying Washington, D.C. The character of MacGruber is mentioned on SNL (by Bettie White) as having a micropenis, and for the movie fake MacGruber micropenis nudes were released.
The Man with the Smallest Penis in Existence and the Electron Microscope Technician Who Loved Him. An animated short film. See below.
Old School When Will Ferrell is caught by his wife and four of her friends streaking, one of them makes a comment about how it must be cold out, which is met by laughs from the other two female friends.
Pink Cadillac. The female lead played by Bernadette Peters is sitting in the car when she is flashed by a man in a trench coat. He says’ to her, “What do you think?” To which she replies, “Looks like a penis, only smaller.”
Porky’s. Pee Wee the main character has a small penis and cops constant hazing about it from his high school friends and classmates. One example is when they visit the hooker Cherry Forever:
Billy: Cherry, this is Pee Wee.
Cherry Forever: I’ll say. What do you use for a jockstrap, kid? A peanut shell and a rubber band?
[laughter from the other guys]
Cherry Forever: [to Billy] You know we’d better tie a board across his ass, or he’s liable to fall in.
[more laughter in background]
Cherry Forever: [to Pee Wee] Save your energy, needle dick. You’re gonna need it.
Pee Wee Morris: [giggling] OK.
Pee Wee Morris: [to Tommy, about the normal-sized condom he was given] It’s too big.
[Everybody else laughs]
Tommy Turner: Peewee, we don’t have any training rubbers.
Mickey: He needs the junior size.
Brian Schwartz: [Seriously] Peewee, tie a knot in it.
Meat: [as Peewee is given another condom and he returns to the bus] Hey Peewee, what do you think this is? The return desk at Macys?
Scary Movie – Greg’s Baby Penis
Scary Movie – Mike Get’s Pissed About A Picture Left At His Locker:
No Holds Barred (1989) – a redneck wrestler mocks the minuscule manhood’s of two of the Corrupt Corporate Executive’s accomplices in the Bad-Guy Bar’s bathroom.
The tragic events in Unforgiven (1992) began when Delilah, a prostitute, laughes at ‘Quick Mike’s’ small penis, which enraged the cowboy enough to stab her. This sets off a whole chain of ‘disproportionate retribution’, which ultimately ends in bloodshed.
SPH is a running gag in Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo, with the stubborn detective trying to out Deuce’s prostitution. It also gets coupled with Insistent Terminology.
Detective Fowler: [about his penis] It’s not small, it’s thin!
Detective Fowler: [about his penis] I’m telling you if you painted it silver and twisted the end, it’d look like a kickstand.
Fluisa: You ever parked your bicycle in an airplane hangar?
Deuce Bigalow: I’m sorry?
Fluisa: You ever thrown a toothpick into a volcano?
Whipped Mia (played by Amanda Peet) recommends that her boyfriend obtain smaller sized condoms and later tells her friends about how small he is.
This is the premise of the documentary Unhung Hero, wherein the star’s ex-girlfriend rejected his marriage proposal on the grounds that his penis isn’t big enough. The documentary itself strives to answer the question if size really matters, and the star goes on something of a journey of self-discovery and overcoming his insecurities.
SPH on TV
Seinfeld: The Hamptons
Sex in the City: Oh Come All Ye Faithful
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Ali G Indahouse
The Nanny (1993)
The children are heading back to school, but Brighton refuses to go back because he feels “small” in middle school. Fran misconstrues this when Brighton tells her he was in the locker room at the time, to which Fran describes to Mr. Sheffield as being “gherkin”. Mr. Sheffield exclaims “But he has such big feet!” such as in the myth of large features to conclude to a larger genital size.
Have we missed any? Use the comment box below to tell of us movies or TV shows that have SPH scenes that we haven’t included in this post.