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Johnny saw the woman from his vantage point. She was a long way away, it was true, but he would time it so that just as she rounded the corner, she would see him in all his glory. And that’s just exactly what he did. She came around the bend and stopped short as she saw Johnny, fly open, dick out and about to take a piss.
“I couldn’t wait,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
The woman took a long hard look at his organ, then smiled and said, “That’s OK. It’s no big deal,” and walked on.
Johnny was flabbergasted. He looked down and knew with utmost certainty that it was a “big deal”. Obviously the woman was jealous because her husband’s pecker didn’t measure up to his. Yes. That’s what it was.
* * *
On his way home, Johnny saw a cute young thing on the train. She looked about 22 and was very attractive and Johnny thanked his lucky stars. She smiled nicely at him as he sat down opposite her. Johnny thanked his stars again. There was no one else in that part of the train (something else that Johnny was grateful for) and so he pulled down his zipper, took out his penis, and started masturbating feverishly. The girl looked on with amused interest.
Finally, she said, “Are you trying to make a mountain out of a molehill?”
Johnny’s pecker shrivelled to ground zero. What was it with women these days? They were really into putting men down. He knew he was built, but could you get a woman to admit that? Well, he would. Sooner or later. That was for sure.
* * *
The following day he was out and about, looking for that right girl who was honest enough to admit that he was hung like a horse. Or was it a donkey? He wasn’t sure, he had never seen a donkey before, but it didn’t really matter because he caught a glimpse of a girl, coming down the path towards him. A little bit plump, she was, but young and pretty, and her glasses gave her a nice girl-next-door-look. Johnny could hardly contain himself as he waited, and his organ grew to an amazing size. This girl was in for a BIG surprise!
He waited behind a tree until she was quite close and then jumped out in front of her, opened his coat, and said, “Do you know what this is?”
She looked at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?” She said.
This was ridiculous. Here he was, hung like a horse, or maybe even a donkey, and she didn’t see the juice.
He grabbed his erect penis and waved it at her. “This,” he said. “Do you know what this is?”
Suddenly she smiled. “Oh, I am so sorry. I’m just on my way to the optometrist. My glasses are not working too well, I’m afraid, so I cannot help you.”
Johnny’s appendage fast-reversed back to ground-zero. He watched dumbfounded as she continued on her way.
* * *
Johnny was down (in more ways than one) but not out. In fact, he was a persistent little prick (so to speak) and so, instead of calling it a day, he waited for another opportunity. And he was in luck. There was not one, but two, elderly ladies. This could be his lucky moment. He watched them come toward him slowly, one of them uses a walking stick.
When they were close enough, he jumped out in front of them, opened his coat and said, “Do you know this is, ladies?”
The two elderly ladies stopped, looked at him and looked at each other. “I don’t believe we know this young gentleman, Mavis.”
Mavis, the one with the walking stick, said: “I think he wants to show us something.”
“Yes I do! Yes I do!” Said Johnny excitedly, as he wagged his willy at them.
“And what is it you want us to see, young man?”
Johnny shook his penis some more. “This,” he said. “This.”
The elderly ladies looked at each other again, clearly puzzled. Then Mavis said, “Look, there it is.”
She pointed with her cane. The other lady looked in the direction of the cane, but couldn’t see anything. She took some magnifying glasses out of her bag, and looked closely.
“I think I can see it, Mavis. “It looks like a penis, only smaller. Much smaller.”
* * *
Johnny Flash was devastated. He sat down on the park bench determined to think it out. And he was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice a number of attractive ladies walk by, each and every one of whom would surely have been interested in his organ. But Johnny was lost in thought. He knew that his penis measured up. He had no doubts about that. So it had to be his approach.
That was it.
Women didn’t like it if you jumped in front of them and blatantly exposed your penis. Of course not! So he had to try a different approach. He had to be more subtle about it. And if anyone could do subtle, it was Johnny Flash. He was now so excited about this new approach that he decided to try it on the very next women who approached. Whoever they might be. And he didn’t have to wait long. Two ladies, early to mid-forties, approached.
As they neared him, Johnny got up from his bench and said, as politely as he could, “Excuse me, ladies. Would you mind if I asked you a favour?”
“Why certainly, young man. What is it?”
Johnny chose subtle, and hit play…
“Would you mind if I showed you my penis?”
“Of course not,” said one of the ladies. “Do you mind, Annabelle?”
“No. Go right ahead, young man.”
Johnny was suddenly worried. It was too easy. Something was wrong. Maybe they didn’t understand the medical term ‘penis’. “Are you sure, ladies?”
“Yes. Of course we’re sure. We wouldn’t say so if we weren’t.”
Johnny hesitated. “I mean… do you know what a penis is?”
“Yes. We know. You want to show us your cock. Now are you going to show it to us, or are you not?”
The two women looked at each other. “Come on, Annabelle. Let’s go. Obviously his dick is so small he can’t find it.”
Johnny could hear them laugh as they walked off.
* * *
Johnny was thinking that maybe that approach had been too subtle. In fact, Johnny was thinking seriously about a career change. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be a flasher, after all. But what bothered him was, he knew he had the goods. To prove it, he decided to flash whoever or whatever walked by next. Even if it was a policeman. As it happened, it was a dog.
As good as his word, Johnny jumped up, opened his coat and waved his dick at the dog. The dog stopped in its tracks, looked at him and started barking and wagging his tail simultaneously. That proved it, as far as Johnny was concerned. If his dick could make a dog stop and wag his tail, how much more of an impact would it have on people, especially those of the female gender?
And he was determined to find out.
* * *
It was two young joggers this time, making serious headway towards him. These two women weren’t playing games. State of the art running shoes, black tights, sports bras, iPods, they had the lot. And they weren’t huffing and puffing. They were running fast and effortlessly. Like they were on a mission. A bit scary, thought Johnny, as they bore down on him.
But Johnny was not one to be put off by fear, and… and he knew they’d appreciate his package. He was sure of it. They weren’t frilly and frivolous like the other girls he’d seen. Not at all. These girls were serious, and Johnny suddenly decided that he preferred serious women.
But he had to be careful. They were in training and they would not appreciate it if someone disrupted their routine. Obviously he had to devise a plan, and he did. Johnny Flash was good at plans.
When the girls drew near, he jumped out of the bushes and ran alongside them. He was in his boxer shorts now. You can’t run too well in an overcoat, so he’d left it behind in the bushes. Johnny was proud of his attention to detail.
The girls looked down at him, and smiled. Johnny smiled back and knew without a doubt that he’d hit the flasher’s jackpot. Provided he did it right! Which he did.
As he ran, he slid down his boxers, exposing his monster. But unfortunately his ankles got tangled up in his shorts and he fell flat on his face. But, he noted, the girls had stopped and were waiting for him. At last! He’d found someone who appreciated him.
He threw away the boxers and said, when he caught up with them, “I can run better without them.”
They agreed, and then continued running, with Johnny running right there, between them, his dick bouncing up and down.
Johnny was enjoying himself. These two girls really liked him… and his dick… but… but he was finding it hard to keep up the pace, and it wasn’t long before he had to stop. He noted again, that the girls also stopped and came back for him. In fact, they grabbed him by the arms and forced him to jog between them.
Can you believe it, he thought. “They like my dick so much they’re taking me with them.” At last! Somebody appreciated him.
But he just couldn’t keep up the pace.
“OK, ladies. I know you ain’t seen one this big before, but I’m about done.”
But they didn’t seem to hear, just kept jogging and taking him along.
“Hey. Where are we going?”
And then they answered. “There’s a police station down the road. There’s a nice female police officer there, who would like to see you.”
“You think so. She’d like to look at me?”
“We think she’ll take a special interest in you.”
“But I don’t know her.”
“We’ll introduce you.”
“Hey, that’s great. I never flashed a police officer before.”
“Well, now’s your chance, Dicky.”
“Gee, thanks, girls. By the way, it’s not Dicky. It’s Johnny, Johnny Flash.”